My Two Cents About Tiger

Here's the good news: just because you're a celebrity doesn't mean we get to look inside your life and tear it apart.

Here's the bad news: just because you're a celebrity doesn't mean you get to tear your own life apart and then ask that we not look.

Let's say you're a young golfer and before you even step onto a course we've heard from your father how great you already are and how great you're going to be. I mean your dad does a great PR job on. So much so that we actually pay attention and we watch you as you make your professional debut.

And what do you know? Your dad was right. You are good. In fact, you're pretty great. We watch you some more because we are amazed at your talent. Does that mean we get to look into your private life?

No. But you offer us glimpses. Which is your right. You get to make up the rules that govern your privacy. It is YOUR privacy, after all. You shouldn't have to ask me to respect it. You should build the rules that tell me how I should treat it.

OK, so now you know that we are interested in you. In fact, you generate so much interest that companies are now coming to you and asking that you be the face for their product.

Your privacy firewall needs to change.

You are no longer just on the golf course. You are now representing a company. So your behavior and your decisions need to take into account the impact on your life and theirs. Does that mean I now get to invade your privacy?

Nope. But you have agreed to become more exposed. You are now on the t and v and radio. You do more interviews because the company wants the exposure they're paying you to get them. So while I still don't get to peek into your private life, you need to make the adjustment that I'm going to look just a little bit harder.

Let's say you get married. A marriage is a private and personal contract and that contract has to be made with your circumstances in mind: your wealth, your job, your public exposure. You need to make an agreement with your spouse about how your circumstances will not bring harm to your privacy - which now includes her and any little cubs that you have.

So, does being married mean I get to look into your private life?
Absolutely not.

Then you decide to take yourself a girlfriend...or a dozen.
Now, that doesn't violate your personal privacy agreement. It does, however, violate the privacy agreement you made with the companies you agreed to represent if you have a morals clause and it definitely violates the privacy agreement you have with your wife because most marriages do come with a pretty specific morals clause about keeping yourself only unto them.

So, the only agreement that has not been broken is the one you have with the girlfriends.
Does that mean I can pick apart your private life?

No. But your wife can. She's now free to come after you with a golf club in public - after all, the deal is over. You broke it. She's no longer obligated to keep anything - except mebbe some of that lovely money.

Your business partners can, too. After all, you put them at risk for losing the money they've already paid you in advance that might not be made up because of the decision you made. They can publicly or privately decide to dump you or decide to stick with you long enough to look at the profit margins.

None of the above puts you in danger of me until.....

your girlfriend(s) decide to break her/their agreement with you and send your texts, emails and voice mail all over creation. Then you can ask for all the privacy you want and I will agree not to talk to you...

because I don't need you. I have your texts, emails and voice mails. Thanks. It's not your privacy; it's your girlfriends' business that they're willing to share. It just happens to be about you. But, hey, I respect your wanting to get your family life together and I won't comment at all about the only reason you want to is because you're caught. That's all your business. And I am nothing if not respectful.

But I'm going to talk with all those women who are willing to talk to me. And you don't get to say anything about that. You set the rules, you broke the rules. We're all now walking through the broken pieces picking up what we can. You have the right to ask for your privacy but don't be surprised if I don't respect your lack of self-respect.

You want your privacy back? You will now have to make an agreement with me. You will promise to live the most boring life you can except when you're on the golf course. And I will agree to grow bored of you and leave you alone except on the golf course. I will, of course, push that. There will be stories and rumors but if I can't trace it back, they'll die down. But you will need to be consistently boring. Don't parade your family around in public to show me what a happy family you are. Just go home and be a happy family.

Oh, and it would help if you won your next golf tournament. Make it the next two. And speak with the tournament directors and the PGA and make it so the announcers on the t and v can't talk about....you know. And should you win and you have to do the post interview, have them make it clear that the first reporter that asks about...you know...will end the interview for everyone. If you win the tourney and they can't talk to you about it then they'll keep each other in check.

But you need to keep yourself in check first.

And We Have Contest Winners!!

Thanks for bearing with me with the delay of announcing the contest winners!
As you know, there was first one prize of the book Knit Fix, some yarn and needles. That was supposed to be the only prize, but then there were so many good tips and I have so much yarn that I thought I would give away some of my workhorse yarns to the person who had the tip that benefits me the most - purely subjective.

So, first, the best tip prize. I read the tip and I said 'wow, that makes sense. I like that and I tested it out to see if it was really a time saver - not so sure about that - but it gives me an option for how I might want to do things. So the prize for the tip:

Instead of doing the original ssk, you can K2Tog through the back loop

Goes to CiCi!! Yeah, CiCi..send me an address and I will send you some yarn from my stash!

The Grand prize was pulled by Mr. Honey and I told him not to just take a name from the top, so he shuffled them all around and he pulled out a piece of paper and the name on it was..


HEATHER!!!

How's about that, babe? You get some of my yarn and the book and needles. So, send me the place you want it shipped and it will be on the way.

There really were some great tips and even though you can go to the post and read them all, I will be featuring them one by one along the way.

Thanks to everyone who posted - Mr. Honey was impressed and that's saying something.
I have to go get dressed for our date night but I will be back quite soon with a new post!

The Last Generation

My sister sent an email out to us that the hospice people were giving my aunt a week at the most. She sent it out yesterday afternoon. Last night she and my brother called to say my aunt had passed. When I was growing up she and my cousins lived two blocks away from us.

She was the last. Now in my immediate family we no longer have any fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, grandfathers or grandmothers. Of course we are parents, aunts, uncles and two of us are grandmothers but there's no one left above us.

I remember when my mother died I whispered that I was an orphan even though my father was still living. Four years later, my sister asked me to come to Phoenix because Dad's mental health was failing and she had taken off more sick or vacation days than she had and she wanted to know if I would come. I had left Xerox the year before so I was free to come and I flew in to Phoenix on December 2nd. When I entered my Dad's bedroom, he was getting dressed - to look at him you couldn't tell he was sick but the voice inside my head said 'he won't make it to Christmas.'

Over the next few weeks, I could see what my sister meant by his mental health failing as he was moody, sad, upbeat and changeable. One morning he was sitting at the bar isle in the kitchen with his cousin when he keeled over and crumbled to the floor. Gone. Just like that. On Christmas Eve.

That left my aunt. My dad died in 2000 and I didn't speak to my aunt for a long time until my cousins were here for a family reunion. I actually didn't attend the reunion but Mr. Honey and I were at the zoo and happened to run into my cousins. One of my cousins admonished me for not keeping in touch with my aunt. She told me how they stayed in touch with my parents and the least I could do is stay in touch with my aunt who missed talking to me.

It made no sense to point out to my cousin that staying in touch with my parents wasn't a hard thing to do since they lived in the same town and went to the same church and did things together while I was in Chicago. Made no sense to say it because it made no sense that geography couldn't be overcome with a phone or an email. So I started calling and emailing. And the first time I spoke with my aunt in over five years, she broke down in tears and said over and over how good it was to hear my voice.

Yes, I'm an idiot but she forgave me by not admonishing me and I could tell from the conversation it wasn't even on her mind. A few months back my cousin thanked me for being consistent in keeping in touch even though I didn't get to speak to my aunt every time I called and not all the emails were returned. I am grateful she yelled at me.

Of the three girls and one boy that made up my mom's sibling group, Bay was the one who got the sense of sass and humor. I remember one time she was in the car when she was stopped by a police officer. We all knew Officer Gunn (yes, his real name) he lived down the street from me. He came up to the car and said to her. "Mrs. Patton, you didn't come to a complete stop at that sign." Without missing a beat she answered, "Officer Gunn, the sign said 'stop' not 'stay.'"

Without her here, my sister, the eldest grandchild, becomes the matriarch of the family. I kidded with her about that last night and asked her if we needed to call her something else. "Ma'am"she said. "start saying ma'am."

Without her here, I don't know where the anchors are. My sisters and brothers and I are close and my sisters and I are especially close so I guess that's where I will look - but it's not the same. We always had someone in that last generation to turn to. But now it's us. I'm one of the youngest, so we should be here for a good long time to assist the next generation - except none of the last generation made it to 80 years. Bay came close at 77, my father at 72. The generation before that made it to the 80's.

I've marked the next reunion on my calendar and I will make sure my brothers and sisters do the same. I have cousins I've never met in person on my Facebook page and we keep tabs on each other. And I've learned a valuable lesson about keeping in touch with family which I will remember. I am looking forward to meeting them next year.

The good news is now that generation is complete and together in whatever Heaven is and I'm certain that if there are stop signs in heaven she'll come to a complete stop, turn off the car and stay.