It's So Easy

NOT!

I know, it's been more than a week. And what a week it's been. I started the new writing gig and truth to tell, it was more of a rough start than I'm used to - mainly because Handmade News is big news and I didn't map out the internal resources I needed to in order to do it all justice. So, I spent several restless, sleepless nights causing myself stress before beginning to calm myself down and put it all back into perspective.

Add to that, my online knitting group StitchCraft on meetup.com is growing! The last time I really looked, we had about 40 or so members - we are now over 70! So somewhere between stressing out over the new job and making myself crazy are plans to get that group together for a fun night. It has to be at night and it has to be planned right so I'm thinking somewhere in September when folks are done with summer and will want to pick up the needles to do the holiday knitting that will be just around the corner. This is a good problem to have but sometimes it's hard to balance the bad stress with the good stress. At some point, it's just stress.

But wait...there's more.

I think I told you our bazaar was successful. We had over $400 in sales. That's the good part. The not really bad but has to be dealt with part is that our supply of prayer shawls and afghans were seriously depleted. Baby blankets we have, but afghans and prayer shawls are practically sold out. Which means the group (of which I am a leader) has to have one or the other on their needles for the foreseeable future. And I do have one on my needles, but it's going into the shop. There's an afghan that's an expired listing that's going to the group.

There's good news...

My office is 95% organized. I can step into it and not have to step over a clutter bomb. The only boxes left are my stash boxes (now down to two!!) and the boxes of craft goodies I inherited from my mother in law. Not much left to do but vacuum the carpet, put the new speaker wires into the speakers and let Joe clean the carpet. Alas, it looks like an office instead of a craft room - but I smile every time I walk into it. Yes, when it's all done, I'll take a photo.

I will also take a photo of the beautiful afghan on my needles. It should be done sometime this weekend - I'm hoping for tomorrow. I would take a pic now, but it's 2 in the morning and the light isn't good. Besides, if I finish it tomorrow, I can take the shop photos and blog photo during the same session.

Forgive me for being away so long - I have missed you - but sometimes you have to ride the breakdown so you know when to get off.

Footloose

I'm telling ya, this doing your own business thing can really get you going. Between Twitter, Etsy, Elance and all the things I have to check, it's a wonder I can remember to blog and sometimes even knit.

I have no pending projects.
Did you hear me?
No, pending projects..and the next thing on my schedule?
Start new project.

Believe it or not, I'm not complaining. I'm actually having fun. There's a reason I don't have pending projects: I finished them both last night.
It took all of a day to do the eyelash bangle. My bracelets arrived from eBay and off I went. I got involved with it, I forgot I blocked out the stripe bag and needed to do the strap. The eyelash bag is holding three CD cases and is holding up like a champ. The striped bag has a book and small portfolio in it and it stretched a very little bit.
I'm wondering myself when I will be out of this bag phase.
Truth is, there is this little pattern playing over and over in my head saying: "Make me, make me!" and I keep replying: "You're a scarf. You're a winter scarf. I can't make you yet!" But I see it in my head. I see the yarn, I see the completed image.

Well, I have to start two projects because I have to - I am thinking I may relent and give in to the voice.

One must trust oneself.

Only Love Can Break Your Heart

OK, so the sock thing is bugging me.

Marilyn brought a book called Baby Feet to StitchCraft last night and there was a pattern for a pair of socks. You make seven pair and put them in a box and it's called Socks In a Box, one pair of socks for every day of the week. And the darn things were soooooo cute. It was then the sock started laughing at me though it was five miles away sitting on the sofa.

I don't think I've ever been the competitive sort. OK, that's not entirely true. I have been known to be competitive, but only with myself. I won't knock little old ladies down in a rush to get to the free samples in the drug store. (Unless it's chocolate then, sorry Granny, but youth has its perks.)

But I have been known to get an idea in my head and work towards it. The single sock is laughing at me. I will not put a photo of it laughing at me, but I have looked at it and it looks like it's having a giggle at me for not redoing it. Of course, I know I could unravel it and that would solve the problem, but I think it would come to me in a dream like I was Alison DuBois, the medium of all dead socks.

Death would be too good for the sock. I must make it swallow its own instep and shut up. I'm on the hunt for a simple sock pattern.

Deep Into It

I don't even want to put up the photo of this work in progress because I think I would also have to add a photo of me eating humble pie, or crow, or whatever it is one eats when one...how to phrase it?

Changes one's mind.

I swore up and down, in and out, that I would never, I mean never
make a sock.

I am knitting a sock.

I do not know how this happened. I was looking for another project to start and I was rifling through a little box of patterns and there was a pair of socks. I don't have sock yarn (and I'm not too concerned about breaking that promise because the stuff is pricey.) I am using regular, worsted weight yarn - the pattern even calls for it. I looked through the pattern (I've owned it for years and never read it) and I said, it doesn't seem that hard. Then I had a conversation with myself where I talked myself into giving it a shot. This must be a residual effect of the 101 fever that ravaged me for three days last week. The portion of my immune system adverse to sock making has been severely compromised.

I also recently saw the episode of Knitty-Gritty with Stephanie Pearl-McPhee where she said the thing that made not want to make socks (they are the only knitted item that if used the way it should will wear out. So the only reason to knit socks for someone is because you love them.) She then preceded to knit a pair on television.

I still hold true to the philosophy. I am knitting them to sell them at the craft sale or on line. I also happen to like socks under certain circumstances as going barefoot outside of my house is a complete no-no.

And darn it (forgive the pun) if the thing isn't turning out like it's supposed to. And I'm even enjoying it. I've even thought about making the other one when this one is done and having a pair of socks.

What' s the world coming to when you can't even stick relentlessly to a poorly thought out principle?

Move Over Aristotle

So, there I was, playing on Sweet Knittalicious' blog when I found the quiz. Not one to pass up a quiz when she sees it; I decided to see what role I did play and whether or not it rang true of me.

You Are the Philosopher

You love thinking things over and developing theories. Learning is very important to you, and you pursue knowledge relentlessly. You love to talk about the things you know, often in more detail than people would like to hear. And you know a lot! You're always taking on new subjects, interests, and hobbies. You are at your best when you are left alone to ponder your newest ideas and experiments. You tend to withdraw from environments that are loud, contentious, or passionate.

What Role Do You Play?

I'm sure I do talk with greater details than some folks want to know (have you read some of my posts?!) Not sure I withdraw from loud, contentious or passionate environments - I'm more likely to get a bag of popcorn and watch the show!

702-496-1472

This number has been appearing on the Caller ID for the past several days. We know people in Las Vegas, but certainly not well enough for them to call us but still we answered the phone just in case.

It was that annoying company that calls to tell you that you have a $500 credit for a trip to Florida you've never taken and they would like to book the trip so that money doesn't go to waste. They have called under several different numbers and each time I have asked them to take me off their call list. They take me off the list for that particular number and just send me to a different number. I hung up on them and they called back again today. The conversation went something like this:

"May I speak to the HB?"
"You can speak to me."
"Are you Mrs. HB?"
"Yes."
"My name is Lashandra and I am calling because you have a $500 credit on a Florida vacation you never took and we'd like to book a trip so you can use it."
"We've taken all the Florida vacations we've booked. I'm pretty sure we didn't book one."
"We show you have the $500 credit for the trip and the only way you can have it is if you booked a vacation or time share and you never took the trip."
"I see."
"So, would you like to use the credit?"
"No, send me my money back."
Pause. "I'm sorry?"
"Send me my money back. We're not interested in booking a trip, so we would like to have our money back."
"You said you never booked the trip."
"But you said I did. You said the only way I would have a credit is if I booked a trip or time share and didn't take it. So since you say I have the credit, I must be wrong in saying we've taken all our trips. So send me my money back."
"You can only get the money if you take the trip."
"Says who? It's my money so give it back."
"Would you like to forfeit the $500?"
"In this economy? I want my money. Hello?"

It's five minutes I'll never get back. But it sure was fun.

The Last Lecture

I just finished bawling like a baby. I just finished ready 'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch.
It's so simple and makes so much sense. And the reason it's a popular book is because we know it makes sense and yet we don't do what he says.

The tips on how to live your life are so breathtakingly simple and we don't give ourselves permission to follow them when we instinctively know what they are. I've always said for every new technology we create that brings us one step forward; it also comes with two steps back. We've created ourselves into too busy lives that leave little room for communication even though it supposed to give us greater contact.

I loved this book and right after I finished it and dried my tears, I got an email from someone I think is truly one of the most gentle, kindest souls I've ever met and I told myself to tell her that and I shook my head saying to myself I could never be that vulnerable. Then before I did this post, I made myself answer her email and tell her just that.

I'm going to take note of those tips and see how I can use them in whatever time I have left. Now that I am of a 'certain age' I know there are far less years ahead of me than there are behind and if I am aware of that, then I should be aware that I can make them wonderful for myself, my family and my community.

At the very least, I should give it a shot.

I Didn't Buy Any Yarn

I am in the middle of dejunking my office because it will become a combination office and yarn room. I cleared away all the rubble, then I put everything loose into boxes and next I will move those boxes plus whatever furniture I can out of the room so the floor will be cleared for the hubby-bubby to come in with our steam cleaner and clean the carpet. The we will move in yet another computer stand and figure out where the boxes of yarn will go. I started this yesterday and yesterday evening I announced I was going to Joann.

"Why?" The H-B asked rather suspiciously.
Now, he has never asked why. He's never said anything. He has accepted the fact that his existence is now yarn based in the same way a cat lover's spouse must accept hair balls.
"Not to buy yarn. I just bought yarn. I am going because I want to make my own stitch markers." (This is the truth) "I'm not even going to look at yarn." (If God were Zeus, I would be struck by a lightening bolt.)
"Un-huh."
So, off to Joann I went. Got the stuff to make the stitch markers, picked up The Prayer Shawl Ministry II and Knit With Debbie Macomber - Back On Blossom Street book of Prayer Shawls. But not one ball of yarn. Oh, I looked and Lion Brand was on sale for 25% off, but I wasn't at the Super Store; I was at the regular store and they were practically wiped out. I did see some Paton's Melody that was tempting, but I have nothing to knit with it. (Though I could have looked in the patterns books and found something.) I felt it more important to be a good wife than an impulsive buyer. In truth, our house is a wreck and it is the yarn that has tipped the balance so I must reign it in. So no yarn.

I did make my stitch markers which will fit needles up to size 13. I will buy more goods to make them for size 13 and up. I don't often knit with 13 and up needles, but just in case.

I don't know when this became an obsession. But it could be worse - mebbe - I suppose it could be drugs or booze or young boys. Yeah, better that it's knitting.

The Craze Phase

So, what's up with me having seven projects on the needles? This is what used to happen then I switched to working on one project at a time and now I have come back to multiple projects.

There is a method to the madness....

I have a ton of tote bags - I love tote bags. Don't ask why; I've learned to accept it. I went to a library convention last year and collected about 15 tote bags and I've received three from people in my sister's Baha'i choir this year and last year, plus all the others.

Here comes the logic....

I have two tons of yarn all through the house. The only rooms in the house that do not have yarn is the kitchen and the bathroom. And that's because the hubby-bubby moved the yarn out of the kitchen last night.

Do you see it coming.....

I have two sales coming up. One day in November and a week in December. I always worry that we won't have enough even though we do sell a great deal, we always come back with boxes of stuff, but the fear gets the needles clacking.

Now it all comes together.

Yarn in tote bags are WIPs which means less yarn cluttering around. The project goes into a tote bag which goes into a newly cleared shelf in the lawyers bookcase. The projects won't all be done for the sale in November, but there should be 1/3 to 1/2 of the seven done in time for the December sale.

So to conclude the logic end of our journey...

The house is less cluttered. More items are available for the sale. I actually use the tote bag collection and I have variety and diversity in knitting.

See?

On the other hand, I usually have more than one project going when I feel things are a little out of control. Now that the funk is clearing away, I will probably work on one project a day and alternate the WIPs. But it's good to have an explanation ready.

The Past Five Days.....

I've been living in the ordinary world. No big major ups or downs. No projects completed. Just worrying about the economy and thinking I will go and vote early. I didn't vote yet because I hadn't made up my mind until last night how I was going to vote and I figured it out last night. Being a past member on the Board of Directors for the League of Women Voters of Chicago, I look at politics with a different eye. Things are never as clear cut as they seem and for me I knew who I wasn't going to vote for; I just didn't know who I was going to vote for. (It makes sense.)

I have several projects going. Though I think I will probably frog the sweater because it isn't feeling like it's coming out right. I'm rethinking Bernat Softee Chunky. It's not really a bad yarn. I still like Herschnerr's chunky better because it's a different feel but it's always good to have options.

We priced items for the big sale coming up in November. We have about eight big boxes of stuff and the sale should be a good one. We also have a sale coming in December. These are usually the two biggest of the year, so I need to get cracking on some projects so we have enough for both sales. (I always worry we won't have enough. Hey, one day it could be true!)

I'm coming out of a little bit of a funk. Maybe I don't like ordinary days. I'll feel better once I have another project completed. In the meantime, I know if I don't find anything exciting in the world, it's because I'm not being exciting in it. So this is on me. Sigh.

A Celebration of Mothers

So, here are the mamas. My mother's birthday was yesterday. She would have been 78 years old. This is my favorite picture of her and Joe. We buried Joe's mom on Saturday. Believe it or not, the man in the picture with her is not her husband. It is her fiance.
She was engaged at 81 years old. We were engaged together. They never married - Leonard passed away the January after we were married. This was taken at our wedding reception.

Yesterday was a conflict of emotions for me from sadness over Josephine and remembering my own mother. All that was left of me was exhaustion. I didn't grieve or celebrate much because it was all so overwhelming.

But today I can take a moment to remember two women with influence. My mother told me shortly before her death that my sisters and I were her best friends. How neat is that: to raise your best friends? That was especially important to me because I am seven and ten years younger than my sisters - the youngest and a decade is a long time. My sisters and I are close as well. We used to have a weekly sister chat and schedules have made that an every other week if we're lucky sister chat, but we are still together. We have two brothers as well, but you know, they're boys.

I came to see my mother as a woman - I truly believe that is a gift we can give to our parents - to be mature enough to see them as human beings after we've seen them as parents. That was the day I became her friend. Trust me, I heard "I'm not your friend; I'm your mother." when I growing up so I know what a transition it was from one to the other. It was during that time that most of the lessons came to roost. I'm still learning from my mother. From who is was and who she wanted to be but couldn't become. From how her own mother influenced her life to cycles that should continue and those that should be broken. She is still my greatest teacher.

Joe's mom was at our house after we came back from my mother's funeral. I don't know what we were talking about but I must have said something about my mother's being gone and she very gently but firmly looked at me and said: "I'll be your mother." And there were times that she championed me and defended me and called me just to chat. She had another daughter-in-law who is the uber daughter-in-law and who has been in the family for more than 30 years - she was closer to her than she was to me, but I have no complaints. She did right by me.

She came with me to one of my women's meetings at church and charmed all the women there. (At her funeral someone whispered to me they could still remember her apple slices.) We went on a trip to Phoenix together. She gave me a package of Joe's baby pictures. When I was the foreman for a special grand jury, she baked apple slices for the jury. When she said something I took offense to and told Joe about it - he went down the street and talked to her about it. She immediately called me to apologize and told me she was so happy I was married to her son.

I sang at her funeral on Saturday. Amazing Grace and The Lord is My Shepherd she did like my singing so it was a gift I could give to her. I actually made it through both songs. The final gift I can give her, of course, is to take care of her son. Both her sons spent a great deal of time with her. They weren't mama's boys at all but they were caring, devoted sons which makes them both devoted husbands. My sister-in-law and I are two lucky women - and don't we know it.

On the other hand; they are two incredibly lucky men - thanks to the mamas.

All I Wanna Do Is Knit...

I can't believe it's been a whole week since my last post. I do have some finished projects to post up - a couple of scarves and a weird hat. My mother-in-law is still in the hospital. My hubby is sick. We just came back from an overnight stay in Milwaukee where we stayed in a bad hotel room. I have clients who owe me over $1000. The Cubs have clinched the division and I've been working really hard! My friends are all down in the dumps over one thing or another - and it appears I have been unkind to someone I haven't even spoken with. No wonder I haven't had time to write - LIFE!

All I really want to do is knit. And walk. I want to knit and walk. My spirit is a little bruised and I am going to allow it to be for a moment more before I rally myself up and regroup.

At times like these, I can trace my feelings back to leaning on my own understanding and not listening to what God has said to me - or listening and thinking I still knew better.
Victor Hugo knows better, too: "There are times when no matter the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees." I feel my kneecaps on the dust.

As The World Turns

This has been an emotional week - heck, it's been an emotional few days.

The phone rang around midnight a few nights ago and it was the Life Alert people. My mother-in-law's alert button had gone off and when they tried to speak with her; there was no answer. So Joe got up (he had to be at work at 5) to go see what was going on.

Long story short - she fell, fractured her femur and had to have surgery. She's 94.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer a few months back and we were thrilled to find out it wasn't pancreatic cancer at all. That victory was short lived because it was stomach cancer and it claimed her life Friday evening. She was in her early 60's.

My nephew's wife had her baby. A healthy baby boy - Jason Ellis.

It's the baby that brings it all in perspective. The cycle of life is such that we start out young and helpless; learn to be self sufficient and independent (if we're lucky) and then come back around to the end older, wiser and with no regrets.

The discussions will begin on what to do about my mother-in-law. She has lived on her own for thrity years at least and up until now has done just fine. But she is at the point where she doesn't want to leave the house much and her hearing aids aren't aiding much..and now the fall. She will resist assimiliation - and she should. But she cannot be alone any longer. She will give a good battle; but it cannot be one she is allowed to win. The independence and self-sufficiency have gone.

Kathleen was a woman of great dignity, faith and privacy. I was glad to be welcomed into her fold and even then I was not in the deep circle. Close enough that she would call upon me to sing when she needed a first soprano and I had the good sense to know when I was being honored. We spoke a few months back and we talked about the last time we sang together at the Chicago Temple United Methodist Church. She wanted me to sing at the service of another friend and I was stuck in DC by bad weather and could not. It is a shadow of a regret.

And baby Jason who is his own little miracle. His folks had been trying for a second baby for some time and turned to a fertility specialized and here he is. He arrived a few days after his due date and had to be induced. I still say he was late because he is a male and would not ask for directions. But here is his - a representation that there are always beginnings in all things.

The dog hurt his leg again - he's an English Setter and eleven years old. He still thinks he's a puppy and thus will not take it easy. Because he has hurt his joints, the arthritis will begin to set in. His full cycle is starting. He is a wonderful dog and we have to start talking about what we are willing to do for him and his quality of life. Though that might not be a discussion to have for a few years yet.

And did I mention the Cubs are going to the playoffs for the second year in a row? Being a Cubs fan is proof of faith...or at least of suffering. No regrets there.

The emotions turn - as does the world. Will the wonders ever cease?

Progress - Whether We Like it Or Not

I went back and re-read my very first post made on December 20 of last yeat. At that time, I had three projects going and I think I finished only one. The scarf was a gift for my brother-in-law, and I've never seen him where it. I made one for his wife and I've never seen her wear hers either; but I suppose that's beside the point.

The two things that didn't get made were kinda made. I made seven of the twelve Aran squares needed to complete the Aran Square afghan. Don't know why I stopped, but two of those squares have been turned into a pillow (I will upload the photo one day) and the rest are now part of an in progress project called 'Cai" for Ravelmpics. The garden gate afghan was about a foot away from being complete when I decided I didn't like it and that became the Cable Comfort Afghan. I will do the garden gate again, but I probably won't use that Thick & Quick yarn. Don't get me wrong - LOVE the yarn, but it does make for heavy afghans and....I digress.

The point on progress comes from learning how to knit in grade school (on pencils cuz we didn't have needles) and not picking it up again until a few years ago. I started keeping track of all my projects in a spreadsheet (and in this blog) and as of today since Dec 07, I have completed 38 different projects. That's about 1 project a week. So I'm making up for not knitting for all those decades. It's amazing the needles are out of my hands long enough to write a blog and to write for a living. .

Like many other things in life, I didn't think knitting would have a place of importance. (Kinda like algebra) But I find knitting is a connective fabric. I am connected to my church through the knit group I started, the community who receives those goods and who partner with us to create more and give more, to those friends seen and unseen who also knit, and to God from whom all good gifts are sent.

Whether I like it or not, knowing how to knit is a talent. Sharing what I knit is a gift. Wanting to use it in service to others is an offering. And knowing the difference is progress.

As Medea would say: "Hallelujer!"

Ravelympians Unite!

It's almost time for the Ravelympics to begin. I am entered into three events: hat dash, scarf stroke, and afghan marathon. Oops, make that four, I am also in the design discus since I'm designing all the things I am making.

Tomorrow is also a StitchCraft session so I will be knitting with friends at the church. I already have the designs in mind. I will need to cast on during the opening ceremonies and complete them all within the next 2.5 weeks. That shouldn't be too hard. If I stay up late this evening and finish the scarf I'm working on now. (The added incentive is that when I finish the scarf, the set will be complete and they will go from my house to Marilyn's house where all the completed items are stored!) Less stuff in my house - more stuff in her house; that's my definition of fair. (Hey, I store the yarn at my house and trust me, there's a boat load of that as well.)

Good luck to all the Ravelympians and to all the Olympians as well. I hate the United States has silenced our athletes about other things going on in the world - it's not just sports; it's sportmanship and that goes beyond the playing field. I think we should let our athletes be all around people and not just players.

But I'll watch the track and field and the other events because i love the games and the sports!

Keeping Up With My Own Joneses

I have vowed not to go this long without posting again. I am still a little messed up over the recent tragedy that befell one of my best friends (See the Travis Wrap post) and that has thrown me off my game.

But I have decided to make myself come back. I have redone my schedule and I am looking at things with a renewed perspective about time and getting done those things we need to get done so we can get done those things we want to get done.

What I want is to be able to drive traffic to my blog. To be able to really earn a good living (not super rich, but comfortable enough) with my writing. I want to be of good use to God and man. I want to love my husband.

And knitting....I want to knit like crazy!!