Friday, July 17, 2009

All Systems Go

Y'all know what this means. It means I'm going to try and logic away something that probably doesn't have a lot of logic behind it.

Like why it's July 17 and it friggin' freezing in the house and we don't have the air conditioner on. We do have some open windows to let in the fresh air - but it's supposed to be fresh summer air. You know Summer? Change the first vowel and that's what we're supposed to be doing - Simmer(ing). I cannot explain why global warming causes us to be cold.

I can't explain all the recent interest in Mr. Honey's Old Chevy. Did I ever tell you the story about his Old Chevy? It's so..male. When Mr. Honey and I started dating the subject of cars came up (I have no idea how - I was driving a Pontiac Sunbird - no one talks about that on purpose) but Mr. Honey mentioned he drove an Old Chevy when he wasn't driving the company car. (I could care less about what cars men drive which is why I'm not sure how this conversation came up.) Anyway, I was out with some friends who knew him and I mentioned I started dating him and said, "He mentioned the strangest thing. He wanted me to know he drove an Old Chevy. Like I care."

The two of them practically threw themselves on the floor laughing. (Yes, this has something to do with knitting; just wait.)

When they finally came back to their senses, they informed me the 'Old Chevy' was a 1965 Corvette convertible. Oh, yeah, that's funny.
When I asked Mr. Honey about it he said - with a straight face - "I didn't want you to like me for my car."

So now, of course, I hate the car. He has drained it of all fluids and taken off the tires and the car sits covered in the garage. He has not driven it in eleven of our thirteen years of marriage. I mention every year how he should get it back in driving condition and take it out for a spin or sell it. But he hasn't seemed interested in any of those three things.

But everyone else loves it and no matter what function we're at someone will slide up to me and ask me if I can get him to sell them the car. My usual answer is "If you have a buck 68 in your pocket right now, you can take it home.' Would you believe NO ONE has managed to have $1.68 in their pocket?

But two people have been seriously pressing Mr. Honey to buy the car and he asked me if I could sell it to either his brother or his best friend. Both of whom have cleared this pending purchase with their wives and they are ready for the bidding war to begin. And my answer?

Absolutely not.

I bet you're not as surprised as he was. Here's how the conversation went:
"What duh?"
"Do you want to sell the car?"
"I'd prefer to keep it but I haven't driven it."
"OK so you sell the car to your best friend or your brother both who we see on a pretty regular basis and how are you going to feel seeing your Corvette brought back to life and if you want to drive it - you will have to ask their permission?"
"That would be weird. I'd like to fix it - it just hasn't been a priority."
"You wouldn't be doing the work yourself. How bout this? Get the car fixed. Drive it yourself and if the thrill is gone, feel free to sell to whom you like. Until then you cannot sell this car to anyone you know."
So now, he's interested in getting the car repaired and driving it himself. I haven't been able to get him to consider that for eleven years. I can't explain it.

So what does that have to do with knitting?

I have to start yet another knitting project:
I can't explain that either.



Turtle said...

lol, great story! sorry your cold. I was freezing at 4 this morning, had to go get another blanket from the linen closet,'s boiling and in the 90's! go figure!

Beverly said...

What's up with the weather, turtle? I mean if it's going to be 60 in december, i will cease the complaining!

Angela said...

Cute story!! I hope he does get the car fixed and you can go riding in it together.

Beverly said...

Hi Angela;
I can honestly say I've never desired to ride in the car and I still don't have the urge. However, I would love for him to able to have a toy all his own that he and his friends can stand around and grunt over.


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